Life is but a Dream
by KING UNDER DOG
Summary: A lazy slacker who's never heard of Naruto wakes up in the body of the new generation's dead last, watch him as he thinks everything around him is nothing more than a vivid dream.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:I OWN NOTHING BUT THR SHIRT ON MY BACK! .**

 **AUTHOR :this is just a favour to a friend, I got exams damn it!**

 **PLEASE support me for more future content at www.p a treon . com (slash) kingunderdog.**

 **Enjoy!**

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you ever ask your self while in the middle of a really sad or messed up situation that goes beyond logic and reason.

What the hell am I doing with my life?.

Yeah that was me. I've gone through both.

Long story short I am or at least was a collage burn out with no real aspirations or dreams. No sappy sob story about abusive parents or following the wrong crowd then falling into gangs violence or hardcore drugs.

Nope, not my problem. If anything the folks were about as fair to me as any upper middle class family could be and my anti-social behavior through most of my life up this point pretty much blocked any chance of me "following " anyone in a bad crowd.

So why did I mention something about being in a messed up situation?.

Well after dropping out and moving back in with my folks I was given one of two options. Neither of which I liked considering how badly each would cut into my almost ritual-like schedule of sitting on my pampered ass and watching TV all day with the acational blunt I would score from the local dealer across the street.

Good kid that Bobby, only 14 years old and was already making a killing on cush.

Where was I again?, oh yeah my two options.

Options A, get a job and pay rent .

This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that anything that I'd remotely be interested in required far higher qualifications than any half-ass highschool diploma and 6 months of college could get me and despite not being much of a "out going " type of person I still had just enough self respect not to pack paper bags at a super market for the rest of my life.

Now here comes option B

And looking back now I honestly think it was by far the worst choice of my simple life.

Join the army.

In hindsight i should of realized that a bumb like me wouldn't cut it in the army but that didn't stop my folks from packing my bags the moment I shot down option A.

On the bright side I learned alot in the military, like how much dirt tastes like shit after hours of crawling through trenches at boot camp. Or how much vomit your dead tired body can produce after running laps around the training field all day for sleeping in and missing morning inspection.

Oh and don't let get me started on the food, after the first few days of forcing down that steaming slop of random meat chunks and bread I genuinely thought Taco Tuesday was a sacred holy feast by comparison.

And I hated Mexican food!.

Two whole months of this shit went by and I'm still miserable, the only good thing about all this horse-shit was that I managed to loose a couple pounds, being a lazy basement dweller with a constant case of the junk food munchies made me a bit of a big bastard to be honest.

Oh I'm still a big bastard don't get me wrong, I just can fit in pants now without my nuts feeling crushed up against my thighs all the time.

Now then we're finally getting close to the really really messed up part of my story.

Me and my entire unite we're drafted to war.

At this point I don't even know why we even bother fighting this war, everyone knows it's only for the money and oil anyway. It wasn't even for direct combat either, we were just extra meat shields to keep a newly found oil reserve secure for a couple months.

No one saw the attack coming.

Imagine expecting to not even do anything for months causing you to and your unite to become slack only to be woken up in the middle of the night by gun fire and shutting.

I'd like to think that if I'd known a little before hand I would of been more prepared and fought bravely like some sort of new age Rambo.

But who I'm I kidding, I could of had a RPG and I still would of gotten a chest full of lead long before I had the balls to pull the trigger.

So here I am a pitiful burn out turned army casualty bleeding on the floor of a country halfway across the world who's only mark on the world will most likely be the stain my blood was putting on the rug bellow me.

Or at least that's how it was...

Listen to me very very carefully, I swear on my own plausible grave that I am NOT making this part up.

Probably.

One moment I am just another body in a unjust war and the very next moment I'm waking up half asleep in a class room.

No this ain't no "it was all a dream twist".

Or at least not in the way you think.

For one this was no classroom I had ever been to in either college or highschool. If anything the room I woke up in oddly reminded me of middle school crossed with a university lecture room as the entire class consisted of raising rows of hard wood desks with children between ages 11-13 sitting in them.

The shock of the sudden shift in environment was probably the only reason I didn't immediately have a stroke or at the very least literally loose my shit when a honest to God human being appeared in the room in a poof of smoke.

"good morning class,i hope your all ready for the exams next week " that got a round of mixed response from either confident cheers to frustrated groans.

I on the other had was trying oh so hard to put all my years of mediocre math into calculating the level of utter physics fuckery it took for a human being to suddenly warp in front of me.

"I see some of you are still nervous about your up coming performances,maybe a bit more practice will give you all a boost in confidence " the man said gazing into the crowd only to stop at a still dumb founded me wondering why everyone's hair had all the colors of a gay parade.

"you there Mr. Towaka " the physics bending man said pointing at me making me blink, at this point I was pretty much convinced this was all a dream especially when I noticed off to the side a black girl cautiously stretch her arm several times its size to grab a over packed lunch box from the other side of the room and ate it all while all the other students didn't even bat an eye.

Yup definitely a dream.

"Mr. Towaka " the man repeated a little louder looking at me with a irritated look on his face as a few of the students laughed when I raised and eyebrow in confusion and pointed at myself.

"wait.. You mean me? " I asked perplexed at how my white as snow ass some how got confused for a Asian person,the name sounded Japanese to me.

"well your the only one here with the last name Towaka ,now if you're done sleeping in my class get down here and perform the three basic jutsu" the man said making half the class chuckle and laugh.

Dream or not suddenly being laughed at by a bunch of technocolored brats was making my blush in embarrassment.

It was like being in fucking middle school all over again!. Thanks brian for embarrassing me in my own head!.

The man was still waiting at the chalk board tapping his feet seeming clearly to myself I got up from my desk trying my best to ignore the jibs and snarks I heard as I walked down there steps to the front of the rows where he stood. On the way I couldn't help but hear a few remakes from the brats around me that didn't even make sense by dream standards.

"there goes the dead last, you'd think he would quit by now" a tired looking kid in the back half heartedly remarked as I passed.

"yeah this year will be the third time he'll fail the exams, the baka just doesn't seem to learn" some blonde girl laughed looking up from her phone.

"well what do you expect the loser is just boondocks trailer trash after all, why the academy even bothers with civilian born's anymore is beyond me" a snarky looking girl with purple hair said off in the side.

"at least he's funny to watch, I wonder how bad he's gonna flop this time, fifty big ones says he's gonna get expelled "

Why are all these munchkins such little asshole's?. I don't even understand what their talking about and I already want to piss in their cereal's.

I had no idea what these color coated brats were on about but I know one thing for sure; if this was how I subconsciously saw myself then after I wake up I'm getting therapy.

I stood next to the teacher who I now noticed was much taller than I a thought he was from my set in the back row. Then I realized a little shocked that it was actually me who had shrunk.

If I was to guess I was barely pushing 5 feet tall when before I was at 6 feet and some change.

Dream logic I guess.

He looked at me expectantly and I just blinked up at him wondering what in the hell I'm expected to be doing.

Maybe a tap dance would satisfy him ?. I always could do a damn good Irish jig.

"well what are you waiting for Mr. Towaka do the hand signs " the man said more than a little impatient.

I just shrugged an did as I was told.

And flashed the man duel middle fingers.

You could hear a pin drop with how quit the class became after I did that.

Well what was my mind expecting ?, this was the only sign language i knew. It's not like I took classes on it in highschool or anything. Hopefully after this I'll wake up... And maybe cut back of the weed a bit.

What I didn't expect was for the man I was casually flipping off to absolutely loose his shit and start yelling at me while the class busted out in gut clenching laughter, I think one even passed out from laughing too hard.

"oh man that idiot never fails! " some blue haired little shit chocked out between laughs.

"holy shit my side haha! "

"why di-haha didn't I bring my camera! "

"he really did it now, Gonma-sensei looks piiised! "

Looking back at the apparent teacher who was now red faced yelling my ear off I briefly wondered what sort of fever dream was I having when being sentenced to clean the toilets was my punishment.

I genuinely thought after that I'd just get up from my bunk bed with the rest of my unit but I was sadly dissapointed with the boring as all hell task of scrubbing the school bathrooms for hours with a brush by hand.

I was even developing blisters! .

What the fuck type of sadistic mind did I have!.

While in the bathrooms I have more than enough time look over myself in the mirror's I had to wipe.

I was a fucking munchkin!.

My earlier guess of my short hight was correct as I currently looked like I should be still watching Spongebob in my underwear instead if in my shorts while baked, like a real man.

I still had my curse of the Irish red hair but only now it looked like it was bathed in spray starch and pulled in every direction in little spikes.

Was I part hedge hog now?. Did I have super sonic speed? .

My once dull blue eyes were now dark brown, so dark you could mistake them for black. I was definitely more tan than I last remembered as my usually pasty as mayo white skin looked like it got the full on new Jersey treatment as my skin was now a sun kissed brown borderline orange.

I definitely felt a shiver of disgust at the thought of looking like Im related to one of those noisy rejects. I could already feel a roasted "marshmallow " joke coming on any moment now, I just know it.

Seems my brain didn't seem to have much imagination as the clothes I was wearing was as plain as possible.

A old grey shirt with lame thumbs up symbol on it ,my brown shorts weren't much to look at either, honestly the only note worthy thing I had on me was a odd pair of blue sandals that only stood out because of it being the brightest colour on me.

I wonder if all this says anything about my mental health if the only remarkable thing my head could find about myself in a dream was my feet.

Yup definitely getting therapy after this.

My inner musing was didn't hear the bathroom door open and a angry bomb shell of a woman walk with her arms crossed an the man who punished him standing next to her looking a little scared himself.

Finally some milf action!,sure I'm more into the slutty librarian type but those only exist in the smut I use to watch off the internet.

Right infront of me was a fine as fuck tan skinned women with an ass that should be illegal, seriously she could weaponize her thinccness!.

Not gonna lie, at first I was worried this wasn't gonna be one my awesome wet dreams, but this red haired beauty knocked anything on my browser history out of the park. Sure she was a little flatter than I'd like in the chest area but that glorious ass trapped in those tight grey mini shorts of her's more than makes up for it!.

Best fucking dream ever!.

Oh how my perverted thoughts were painfuly wrong as the woman who now noticed having a similar colour scheme to my current self grabbed me by the ear and pulled, hard.

"YAWOWOW! " I shouted as she started twisting my ear a shrieking at such a high pitched that I could barely hear her.

"Takashi Towaka !,have you lost your damned mind young man! " the enraged red haired shrieked almost making me go deaf. " Here I was working my self to the grind trying to put food on the table when I get a phone call about you going back to your old ways!, you promised you would start taking your studies seriously this year! "

Then hell is this bitch on about!

She finally let go on my ear and looked almost distraught as she leaned all her body weight on the surprised man behind her who looked very uncomfortable holding her.

"oh what's a single mother to do with her way-ward child" she moaned over dramaticly, "if only he had a big STRONG father figure around to show him the way, isn't that right Gonma-san~" she said in a almost sultry tone to the heavily flustered man behind her .the fact that she was practically grinding on him seemed to not be helping.

The fuck is going on here?!, what sort of wet dream has another guy getting the horny milf!.

Coming to his senses the man managed to distance himself from the woman making her pout playfully "Ms. Towaka -"

"please Gonma-kun, your free to call me call me by my first name... Or just later at night if you want " the woman said winking.

The man HAD to be gay if his first response to this fine woman's obvious signals was to shiver on the spot an take 3 steps a way.

Wait a minute, what did she just go on about just a minute ago?.

Entering their one sided conversation I ask one of many growing questions.

"oy sluty barbie doll, what was that stuff you just said about you being a single mom?,cause if that's the case my head's definitely not doing me any justice by cooking up this fetish wet dream" I said half mindedly not noticing the jaws of the man next to the woman drop and the woman looking wide eyed.

" oh well I'll take what I get, tho I wish you had a bigger pare of tits,whats are those anyways big A's or small B's? .I'm seriously I feel like I'm looking at a preschooler from the waist up",my words were cut off by the sound of choking as the man looked like he had just heard the world was ending as was on the floor foaming at the mouth in shock.

The woman on the other hand looked like I just shot her cat after pissing in her cereal , seriously I didn't think it was humanly possible to get so red in the face.

If someone had told me I would get ever get a half- hour long spanking over a hot red haired woman's knee inside a middle school bathroom ,I would of told them to keep their sick fetish fantasy to themselves.

Now that I'm expecting it first hand I gotta say... Not that bad actually. Sure it stung like a hell at first but I quickly got use to it. So either this dream body is alot more resilient than my real life one or I'm secreatly a masochist.

5 more minutes of the oddest wet dream role play and a ear slpitting screech the hot-but possibly crazy- lady grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the building presumably to take me back to her place.

I hope I could at least get to the good part before I woke up.

On the way I couldn't help but marvel at the things around me as we past tall buildings,house's, towers and huts that had a distinct ancient Asian city theme to them even though they were clearly a modern touch to them as further up the hills were sky scrapers and training tracks connected all over the place, oh an airships, mother fucking airships!.

It was amazing to think my brain could even come up with half this stuff and with such clarity too.

There was even a Mount Rushmore rip off!.

Definitely gotta stop smoking before bed. I'm obviously tripping some serious balls in my sleep.

It took a while to finally get to our destination as we had to walk for couple blocks then a short train ride were I saw even more cool stuff from the window of my seat.

People were jumps across roof tops!.

After a while we had stopped off at the very edge of the city that looked more modern than the district we were just in and I was once again pulled at the arm and dragged a couple more blokes down a less than... Safe looking street.

It didn't take me long to realize that this new neighborhood had to be the city slums as the buildings looked a little dingy and the people were a bit ragidy looking or just plain thuggish and quiet a few were giving us some looks that made me feel a little uncomfortable to be honest.

Sure I was a army trained grunt solider but I've never gone through real combat aside from getting my ass kicked in basic training ,even then whatever skills I had from that must of dulled by now from months of just lazy around at my joke of a security post in Iraq .

Plus I was munchkin sized now, I'm my old body I could at least pretend I was tough, but what spineless coward would take me as a threat with my current baby face.

I just hope any of the lusty looks that some of the burly men we passed were pointed only at the woman dragging me.

Lord only knows how messed up my head must be from that one " less than straight experience " l had at boy scouts that one summer in the public shower's . I still couldn't look at scout master Simons the same again.

I think that's when the smoking started.

Eventually we made it to a simple 2 story apartment building that was half covered in graffiti an looking a bit run down to be honest, but as the woman next to me mumbled under her breath it seemed to be home sweet home.

Kicking off my shoes -cause I'm not an animal! - I walked into apartment hoping this dream would give the inside of the room that good old Doctor Who treatment an make it way bigger and cooler on the inside than how it looked on the outside.

Wrong again it seems.

The place was kinda a crap shack. OK maybe not that bad but definitely nothing compared to some of the awesome expectations I had.

First off the place was tiny, like one bedroom to the left,a living room/kitchen in the middle and a small bathroom to the right.

Did this place even have warm water!.

Secondly there was trash everywhere, like seriously did this woman ever clean!.

I know it's a dream and all but there's no way anything in my mind could be this nasty, my God was that a fucking cockroach!.

There was, infact a small family of them taking refuge under a pile of old food wrappers in a corner, just looking at it made my insect phobia act up.

"so what do you want for dinner " the woman asked walking over to the stove turning on the fire not even paying the mess she stepped over any mind.

Was she mad!.

I practically sprinted over to turn off the stove and much to her shock took up a broom an started cleaning the place starting by genociding those nasty roaches.

How in God's name could anyone cook anything in a place so filthy!, sure I was a lazy slob too in real life but food was sacred to me, if I was gonna cook everything around me was gonna be spotless first. For fucks sakes there's mold on the ceiling!.

Xxxxxxxxx

After what had to be hours of back breakingly intense house cleaning I turned off the vacuum finally pleased with the work I had done making the hell hole a somewhat suitable environment for the culinary arts, if just barely.

The floors had been sweeped and mopped clean with the strongest disinfectant I could find and the garbage on it was currently burning in a bumbster fire I lit across the street. The furniture, as few as they were were scrubbed clean and set to dry along with wiped down the walls, clean all cooking items spotless and finally vacuumed every last grain of dust I could find on the rug.

All the while the red haired woman just sat there on a plastic chair wide eyed as I turned her roach motel into a actually descent apartment.

Wipping the sweat from my brow moving the slightly damp red hair from my face I looked over my work with a pride.

"now this is a floor I can eat off! " I said looking at my reflection on the polished floor. If boot camp had taught me one thing that i had grown to respect was a clean floor. Do you have any idea what they did to people who brought snacks to bed with them in the army?.

Those mother fucker's made you eat it off the floor!. So much dirt,so much nasty fucking dirt!.

Now who's laughing Sargent McClain!, who's laughing now, my floors so clean it probably makes your mothers fine China look like dirty plastic plates!.

In my inner psychotic gloating I failed to notice I was getting pulled into a hug by the small chested bombshell who was praising me -and calling me Takashi-kun ? - for finally acting like a good boy for mama?

...no just no.

I pulled myself off this woman who blinked in confusion as I looked at her almost petrified as I made a horrible realization.

The red hair, the tan skin, spanking, the single mother status and me now being munchkin sized...

Oh sweet merciful Jesus!, this was some sort of incest mother and son fetish dream wasn't it!

That's it ,wake up! Wake up your sexually repressed sick fuck! ,I was joking before but now I'm DEFINITELY getting years of therapy after this one!.

It seems my sudden shift of emotions cause my moth.. Red headed woman to tilt her head an look at me with her sin filled green eyes in confusion. "Takashi-kun, what's the matter you look like you've seen a ghost, if this about what happened in the academy don't worry mama's not angry anymore, not after you did all this " she said pointing our the now spotless apartment.

But it still didn't work as my emotionaly scared ass didn't want to be anywhere near this human representation of what ever unclean thoughts I might harbor.

Seriously my fucking mom!.

"tell you you what" she said coming up with an idea smiling through her cheery red lipstick, "I'll make some of your favorite food, that'll cheer you up "

Damn'it brain how dare you use my only weakness against me!.damn'it all,even in a dream I can't resist my mother's cooking, even it's a twisted fetishesed out version that looks nothing like her.

Well the eyes are the similar.

"I'll have that cup of instant ramen made right away then" she said getting over to turn on the kettle on the stove where I once again nearly flew over to stop her and looked at her as if she had gone mad.

In what world does my mother ever think cup soup counts as a dinner meal!, I mean seriously brain you've known the woman your bastardizing in the warped dream for damn near twenty years and your best imitation of her cooking skills is to make instant noodles!.

There's no way my real mother would ever make anything that half assed, no wonder this rip off has such small tits, no nutrition!.

Without even thinking I set out to defend my real mother's honor by practically shoeing out my fetish mom out of the kitchen area and got to work preparing a meal that would be worthy to be eaten off my clean as fuck floor!.

But maybe I'll use the plates instead.

40 minutes later I'm done making our meals that I personally was disappointed in mainly because of the lack of needed ingredients and just half heartedly poked at my chicken stir-fry with rice and steamed veggies.

It was a poor replacement for my goal of my mother's cooking but it definitely beat the garbage they served in the army but would it kill this dream to have some onion or tomatoes in the fridge!.

At least someone liked the food.

Across from him on the small dinner table in the kitchen was the woman pretending to be my mother who was already on her third plate. Poor thing acted like this was her first home cooked meal in years. An by the looks of the cupboards stacked with only instant food and junk food I was probably right.

Hell half the stuff I set on fire was old takeout boxes!.

Having our fill the woman looked shocked again when I took up both our plates to wash and place back in the dish rack.

What ?,did she think I was gonna just leave them on the table dirty and let the roaches come BACK in here, cause that's how you get roaches lady!.

I went over to the small living room area and turned on the TV wondering if my brain was just gonna play memories of old episodes of shows I've already watched or just some trippy shit I can't make sense of.

Heh, either way it's probably not going be too different from Ren and Stimpy.

Turnings out I was wrong, the TV didn't seem to be using my old memories cartoon like I hoped but instead seemed to be a parallel version of basic TV in real life, I had the news channel, sports, weird as fuck cartoon about a blue cat and a fish with legs ?, no way my world's cartoon network could ever get that bad.

Some crazy history channel doing a documentary about a guy... or woman?, who would of been a dead ringer for a villain in Harry Potter.

Yes I read the books in my free time, sue me! .

It stopped scrolling once I realized there was that many channels as just stuck with the news channel hoping I'd be entertained by whatever crazy thing my mind could cook up. At my right across the couch from my fetish mom looked at me surprised at my choice of channel but stayed quiet as if she thought that if she said anything she might brake a spell of something.

"good afternoon konoha, it's jin henbo here to bring you all the days news " a somewhat handsome middle aged anchor man announced on the TV ,"today marks the beginning of the 5 year long period our leader the 7th hokage has remained in office and is going to be making an apperence at the shibuki park in downtown town konaha" he announced with a big cheesy smile that was faker than me on a diet.

"No doubt a festival is already under way for tonight's celebration" the video pans out to some old footage of some blonde hair guy in a orange jacket waving a bandaged hand to a crowd of cheering people, one of whom was going over board in the crowds waving his discarded shirt in the air while the security tried to detain him.

It really say's alot about a guy when your man boob's gets censored.

The video stopped there and went back to the now chuckling Anchor man who whipped a tear from his eye and went on to talk more about the news, most of it made no sense to me like when the anchor man said trade with the hidden cloud and mist was at a all time low due that the current raikage was having a fued with the kage of the mist and so the leafs kage's is trying to end the fighting and not show favoritism by lowering the amount of importants from both sides as a way to make them "behave" politicaly.

No fucking clue what was going on there ,it was just some random crap my head cooked up but on a whim I asked the fetish mom what that was about only to raise a brow when she flushed in embarrassment an admitted that she didn't really pay that much attention to politics.

Apparently she was one of those mom's who only watched trashy "reality TV ", I swear that stuff rots the brain, well I guess it could be worse.

It's not like they had prostitute's pretending to be star's on TV or anything.

The news went on like this for little bit longer but it seemed nothing was on except the news about the festival that was gonna start in a few hours if the clock above the TV was right.

Realizing that just sitting and watching TV was a boring way to spend a surprisingly long dream I got up and grabbed the woman's hand tugging her with me to the door.

"wait Takashi-kun where are we going? " the woman asked surprised at my sudden action while I put back on my blue sandals.

"duh, the festival of course, it's looks way better than sitting here and watching this backwards TV"

This seemed to make her raise both her brows at me -seriously does everything I do shock this dream woman! - and looked at me with clear disbelief.

"wait you wanna go now?, w-with me? " she said looking at me with a nervous expression like I was gonna bit her head off at the very thought of being seen in public with her.

I rolled my eyes, "yes with you, now come on I wanna see what's gonna happen next" I said referring to the what ever crazy event my brain was forming at this "shibuki park".

My brain was thinking very oddly Asian for some reason.

I was blind sided by another surprise hug by fetish mom who held me close to her as if I'd dissapair any second now if she let go. If this was a regular dream I'd probably enjoy being cuddled by a beautiful woman like this but with her already established "mother figure fetish" theme she had going on with her all this one sided hug did was make me feel super uncomfortable.

Her tears weren't helping either.

Blinking at that I turned my head slightly an realized she was shedding noisless tears on my shoulder, at first I was half worried she was sad - she was pretending to be my mom after all-day but that train of thought stopped when I noticed her small smile.

It was my turn to raise eye brows.

"thank you takashi-kun" she whispered teary eyed hugging me tighter.

"we yeah...can we go now " I'm not sure where to even go with this, before I just saw her as a piece of ass, then a nasty fetish...but now with all this genuine emotion... It feels like she's human.

My head must be on fire in real life from all the work it was putting into the detail of this dream... It almost felt real.

This is still a dream right?.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The the journey was a bit longer than before seeing as instead of taking the train feti- ... Mom decided it was close enough to walk on foot, my lazy ass felt like complaining the entire time even though I was use to running laps for miles in the army.

I still remained silent and kept my complaints to myself. M-om - boy it was hard to think that - had been smiling non-stop since we existed the apartment.

The woman was practically skipping as she pulled me by the hand to the direction of the park.

Another odd thing that made me wonder what her deal was is that when I held her hand out of impulse out of similar experience's of going on walks with my real mom when I was younger. I thought why not, I was a munchkin again so I might as well act the part right?.

This just put the emotional woman in a fit of more tears as she held me for another awkward 5 minutes.. In public.

I had to figure out what hell was going on with her, my shirt was already damp!.

On the way I saw the same lusty eyes of a few people we passed by and unlike last time a ball of spite weld up in me, like they shouldn't be ruining what clearly a good time for this woman.

How odd, just a few hours ago I was willing to throw her under the bus if it meant I didn't have to confront any of these thuggish creeps.

When I try thinking about it the image of her crying forms in my head.

It made me feel weird.

We eventually made to the park a half hour later and my God was the place packed!. I wouldn't be surprised if a thousand people were at the park gates alone and the crowd only seemed get worse as we looked around, hell a few people were even hanging off the tree's to get a view.

There was actually a bit of clear empty space way up from near the stage that was set up at the park but it was in the middle of like a million people, I'd need to be superman to push my way through this.

Seems I wasn't the only one who realized this as mom's shoulders sagged in disappointment. Even her smile that had been there since they left had fell.

I acted before properly thinking it and pulled her legs from under her and caught her bridal style then looked at the crowed licking my lips in concentration.

"takashi-kun, what are y-?"

"were gonna get a spot" I answered cutting her off while staring hard at the empty spot far up front. I don't know why but I wanted to make this woman smile again, I was no gentleman and lord knows I don't usually put this amount of effort to be this nice in real life but... I really just wanted her to enjoy today.

Her crying was practically imprinted in my mind.

The plan was simple, this was a dream so it worked on dream logic so if I imagine really really hard that I'm superman I could fly over there.

Hell the fact that my scrawny boy could lift this grown woman without too much strain was just proof I wasn't your average munchkin in this dream.

With my location locked in place I held onto my mom tight an forced all the the strength I had in my feet -something tingles? -as I launched myself into the air.

I was only half shocked that it actually worked and that I was at least 30 feet in the air over some of the crowd. The woman in my arms was screaming in shock holding onto me but I just smirked thinking she was being naive, I knew what I was doing.

Then the ground got closer.

Yeah turns out even in my head I can't fly.

I lucky managed to hit the ground flat on my feet keeping mom and the crowd safe with only a slight tingle in the solves of my feet to show as damage.

"Oh so not superman, but more of a boot leg Spiderman it seems" I mumbled under my breath as I once again took off in a large leep a little lower than before but got further up the crowd. After a couple more of these mom had more or less gotten use to this at least realized I wasn't gonna drop her an with slightly shacky legs I finally landed in the empty spot up front that I now noticed had red rope around it.

Seems this was a V.I.P. area

More than glad to set foot on land again mom was grateful when I let her go an she stood up on shaky legs herself, it seems the unorthodox travel raddled her a bit.

"eh hem, excuse me but this spot is taken " said slightly irritated voice.

It was then that we realized other people were there. Turning to our right we saw 5 people, two were adult woman, not bad looking woman if I do say so myself but after the whole fetish mom thing I don't think I'll be letting myself fall for anymore possible traps so no thanks milfs.

The three other people were all munchkins that besides one elementary school looking girl were around my current bodies age .

One of which was the one who spoke at was now looking at me for an explanation, in fact now that I think about it she seemed to be ignoring mom entirely an just projecting her frosty gaze just at me for some reason.

"Now Sarada that's not a very nice thing to say to your cousin " the pink haired of the two milfs said to the girl I assumed she was baby sitting.

Cause there was no way that was her mom, they looked nothing alike.

The girl apparently named Sarada -again with the Japanese? - scrunched up her nose slightly at her babysitters words.

"huh mom!-"

Bullshit!

"-we're not cousins, I'm barley even related the that little creep! " the girl said partly glaring at me and partly being upset with her own mother.

I still say bullshit by the way.

"now Sarada it doesn't matter how far apart he is is he's still family " the pink lady said then made a forced apologetic smile towards us that only seemed extra forced when her green eyes landed on my mother who was silently glaring at both of them and clutching me closer for some reason .

I'm sensing some bad blood here, the only logical thing to do is to not get involved, if these two women wanted to bicker then it wasn't my business.

Now mini bitch on the other hand.

"what's your problem " my question was pointed at the bespectacled girl in front of me, "can't a guy spend time with his mil-mom without getting harassed " I said passively hoping she would just buzz off.

I keep forgetting munchkin's are unreasonable by nature.

"Hey at least I'm supposed to be here, this spot is reserved for family and close friends of the 7th's only" the girl snapped.

I don't know why but I had the sudden urge to put up my dukes and throw down with this little girl but I managed to hold down the insane impulse and just looked at her straight faced unaffected.

"well whatever we're here now and I looks like you're the only one who has a problem with it cuz " I said smoothly, ordinarily I'm no where near that cool or collective but this was a fucking child, what could a child ever do compared to grown ass man-child, throw a tantrum?.

"we're not cousins! " she shouted.

"second cousin's dear niece " my mother cut in sharply glaring slightly down at sarada who glared back up at her with the WORST case of pink eye I had ever seen!.

"Sarada! " the lady behind her grabbed her daughter and pulled her back and looked at us genuinely sorry this time, "I'm sorry for her rudeness Akemi-san, she's just a bit testy last week was her birthday and my husband -

I had forgotten I was still holding my moms hand bit I definitely remembered when she suddenly squeezed down on my hand.

Hard.

"- couldn't make it due to work " the pink haired woman explained.

"Mom! You don't have to tell them that it's non of their business! " the girl said but was instantly silenced when her mom slammed her foot on the ground.

And damn near made an earthquake!

The people around their immediate area lost their step and nearly stumbled over their feet as the small trimmer pasted,i barley could keep on my feet myself and my mother was using me as support.

Sarada on the other hand had been sufficiently cowed as she couldn't even make eye contact with the woman who caused it.

Seriously who was this woman, she-hulk?!.

Can I do that?.

I tested it quickly and was saddened to realize that aside from murdering a family of ants all i accomplished was irritating my ankle.

So unfair!.

I my musing failed to notice sarada now being much closer to me than she was before thinned lipped and pink in the face, her mother was behind her with her arms crossed looking at her daughter expectantly.

With a sigh she hugged me. It lasted less than a millisecond and she looked extremely revolted afterwards and In the distance I could hear the one of the other two munchkin's, the blonde haired boy, laughing his ass off next to the other milf and preschooler.

I barely heard her mumble out a forced apology as she turned to sprint away only to be grabbed once again by her mother who tapped her feet impatiently making sarada blush even brighter and sag as she walked over back to me and my mom like she was on death row.

"I.. We would like if... You both stayed and join us to watch-"

I just knew she could somehow FEEL her mother eyes burning into the back of her head.

"... As a family..cousin " she croaked out looking like a ripe cheery looking anywhere but in front of her.

Oh lord this is precious!.

I always liked getting my cousins in trouble when I was younger, it seems my brain was setting up opportunities like that here too.

I wonder if I can get her hand in some warm water while she's sleeping?... On second thought that scenario sounds too creepy ,it would imply I would brake into a little girl's room while she was sleeping.

Her apology seemed to be enough for her mother who nodded to her daughter who walked over to the emptiest corner of the V. I. P. area to most likely sulk.

Brat.

The moment she left the blond haired boy who was laughing himself to tears before walked over an put an arm around my shoulder and excused us from our respective mothers who all blinked at the blonde sudden action but didn't say anything as he dragged me off presumably to talk in private.

I did manage to mouth a 'I'll be back ' to my mother who looked concerned that I was leaving her.

I think I'm growing attached to this dream woman, it's gonna suck when I wake up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The blonde haired kid stopped dragging me when we were in a secluded area back stage behind the stands, who ever this brat was he must of had some connections cause the security didn't even make a move to stop us the second they saw him and just let us pass.

Now here was are alone in what I could only call a prop room filled with a bunch of theater joke and costumes for the festival.

So here I am alone in a room with a blond haired blue eyed little boy.

The wet dream of many pastures.

"so what's this about.. Er..kid" I asked wondering what this munchkin wanted, I wasn't carrying around candy or whatever kids were into now a days.

Man I feel old.

The boy just smirked and shook his head side to side as if he was highly amused "look you can stop already I know what your doing "

What I'm doing, what the incest resisting?

"All those times I'd forget to bring something for class and you'd be the first one to share your second hand suplise ,whenever I needed to copy some homework before class you practically throw yourself at me with a all your work, which always gave me bad grades by the way"

Nothing he was saying was making a lick of sense.

"you did a good job of trying to hide it but your cover was blown when you tried so hard to rile up Sarada in front of me to make me laugh " he said nodding to himself as he circled me was slow steps.

"An that entrance with that hot mom of yours definitely caught my attention but it was a failed effort" he said smirking.

The fucking hell is he talking about?.

He suddenly stopped right in front of me looking dead serious, "you little leach, your trying to get on my good side aren't you"

What?

"Trying to get all buddy buddy with the hokage's son ,thinking you can use me to ride off my old man's coat tails aren't you" he said scowling at me who was to had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Dude the fuck are you talking about? "

He looked a little surprised at my choice of words just doubled his glare as he pushed me up against the wall, "listen here clown I'm not gonna let you monkey branch your way into my life, kami-sama gave you a shitty life so just deal with it"

What or who the fuck is kami-sama?.

Is that a DBZ reference?.

"So just deal with it on your own, after today I don't want you near me, my family or anyone I had out with, you got that clown" he said gripping my shirt tighter and pulled out a FUCKING DAGGER and pointed it at me threateningly.

"or else"

I responded the only way a grown man with army training could against a child.

And kneed him in the nuts.

Yeah it's hard to be threatening when your curled up on the ground clutching your nut bag.

Walking over I took up his dagger an kneeled over him while spinning the knife with my finger,i may not be a badass super solder with more body counts than Rambo but I could at least fake a pretty damn convincing tough guy voice when in going up against people I have a clear advantage over, " listen here you little psychopathic shit, I don't know what the fuck you're going on about but let me tell you this - i said pointing to the knife - ain't gonna fly, I don't know where a little ass hole like you found it but you're sure as shit not getting it back" I said putting on the best stare of a war harded solider I could imitate.

Reaching over I pulled his arm into a basic restraining hold that was meant specifically to hurt but not harm, I know how it worked in theory but never applied it in practice so I'm not certain if it was works.

"YOOW! "

it works.

I held him restrained and in a firm grip, right now just moving slightly was putting the muscles in his arm in a world of hurt, "now listen up you little failed abortion, here's two possibilities of what's gonna happen, I'm gonna let you go and then we both go back to our respective families all nice and pretty looking like we were just having a good old man to man talk about girls or some shit and never bring this up again"

I could feel him trying to resist underneath me even harder so I put even more pressure on his arm making him bawl out forcing me to cover his mouth with my free arm,"or we go with the second opinion and I dislocate your fucking jerk off arm, your choice " I said laying on the dead serious intent to really go through with disabling this kid.

Damn I was a good actor, fuck the army, as soon as my terms over I'm going to Hollywood!.

It took a little bit more pressure but soon he was nodding his head up an down biting back tears from what must of been a hellish amount of pain in his arms joints.

If this wasn't a Dream I'd probably feel bad from the way the poor munchkin held his abused arm like it was almost broken.

What a big baby, try stubbing your toe twice in the same day, now that was some tear jerking pain right there.

When we made eye contact I was half worried he would make move for the knife in my hand but it seemed my tough guy act bought me some power over the little munchkin as he just cuts his eyes at me frowning but doesn't say a word as we exited the back room together.

I'm a natural with kids I tell yeah .

Xxxxxxxxcccxxxxxxxxxx

The festival was great it stared out with a speech with the same blonde haired guy from the news who looked more tired than a politician then after he left the stage has dancers preform different plays an dances along with a couple musicians play some really weird songs that sounded nothing like the western music I grew up with, well except for rap, for some reason that was popular here.

My God, my brain has some shitty music.

Oh don't get my wrong, I love me some biggy and Tupac but these guys raping on stage were about as fresh as week old bread.

Hell even vinila ice had more style than these idiots, who rhymes yo with yo?!.

Well while the preformere's were on stage doing... Whatever the he they were doing and calling it rap I was paying attention to the cloud of blue that had suddenly covered a bit of my vision.

Blinking a bit saw the the blue was actually munchkin number three the elementary school one, at some point or another that night she seemed to have creeped her way closer to me as sat next to me on the grass watching the performance. Looking over to the side I saw her mother giggling in a hushed tone to the pink haired lady who was my sort of aunt?... Well they were definitely looking over to us probably thinking we were the the cutest thing since the powerpuff girls...

Which as a straight guy I know nothing off by the way,nope nothing of the sort.

Blossom is the best one.

Oh look the blue haired milf was pulling out a camera phone clipping pictures while the pink one had already busted out the camcorder.

Mom's sure are always prepared it seems.

Feeling a little curious I tapped the little girl on the shoulder smiling a bit at how she stiffened up a bit with a small blush and looked up at him with the biggest baby blue eyes id ever seen.

On a human being anyways. Now that I thought about it everyones eyes seemed slightly bigger than they should be, you couldn't tell from a distance but up close like this you could tell the difference.

Still made her adorable as any power puff... What I'm secure!, I've got nothing to prove!.

When she tiled her head looking nervous as a little lamb I just couldn't help but pat her affectionately on the top of the head, " man this has to be a dream, there's no way someone so cute could exist in real life" I said honestly.

I didn't notice she was blushing up a storm or that that the crowd who noticed one of the hokege's children take interest in a some red haired kid collectively 'awwed' at my statement.

What I had noticed was that over at the side the the mothers had dashed phone's and camcorders and switched to movie grade professional film equipment.

Mom's sure are... Fucking weird.

I say that because my own mother had suddenly put me in a hug pulling me away from the adorable little girl and held on almost posisivly," hold on there little miss, I just finally got time to be with my son, at least wait till my hair to turns grey before you snatch him away will you" she said half joking as she smothered me in super embarrassing cheek kisses.

Once again the crowd 'awwed'.

The milf's turned off their recording equipment with a disappointed sigh each.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next day I woke up on a pull up bed at the apartment, apparently I fell asleep at the festival and was dropped off with mom by taxi.

Man what the hell was this dreams time line setting,are we in the past or present?.

Oh look the digital clock on the TV stand next to the small Buddha statue started beeping.

When the hell are we!.

And since it was Saturday as the news anchor said in the TV I didn't have to go to school... Wait why am I thinking of school all of a sudden, I'm a grown ass man with a highschool diploma why do I feel so relieved it's the weekend?.

Whatever.

I got up folding back the bet into its couch form in the living room as cleaned up the sheets, I took a peek inside the old bedroom to see my dream mother snoring into her fluffy pink bed looking a like she crawled in more than a little drunk as clothes and garbage was already spilled all over the floor.

It was kinda weird how fast this lazy lush was growing on me, maybe I'll write a book about this dream when I wake up.

Maybe I'll call it trip dreams or stoned tales.

I'd probably make truck tone of cash.

Stretching a bit I walked off to the bathroom an took a shower -oh praise the Lord,we had hot water! - an took a vow of silence for my lost comrad.

My dick, I lost my dick!.

Oh I'm still a boy alright but this sad little thing between my legs definitely wasn't my jonhson. Seems this becoming a munchkin thing was completely proportional in everything else on my body .

I'm definitely taking this as a personal insult. Fuck your sadistic brain!.

Sulking to myself for a few minutes I stepped out of the shower and got dressed, I quickly noticed that any clothes I had weren't exactly e pensive looking, if anything the looked like the bargain deal stuff you picked up at old navy.

The small closet in mother's bedroom mostly just had different varieties of grey shirts with the acception of a couple going from brown to cream. I only spoted two pair of pants and since they were longer than my short legs I assumed they were my dream mom's. The rest was a few mini skirts that definitely weren't mine and a couple of slightly faded shorts that seemed about my size.

Yeah something tell me that we weren't the wealthiest family around, I don't even want to know how she manages to pay rent. With a body like her's that dresses like a street walker the possibilities of what she could of done in the past to put a roof over her's and mine head troubled me more than it should have.

This was a dream after all, I shouldn't be thinking up bad backstories for the figments of my imagination.

I got dressed and quickly made a small breakfast out of the little actual food that was left in the fridge. I refused to serve junk food to other people so as far as I was concerned the cupboards filled with instant noodles didn't exist.

I'd definitely scarf down on them when I was alone though. I'm still a big bastard at heart.

I'm guessing it was the smell of the sizzling hash browns that aroused sleeping drunk beauty to finally crawl out her bed and into the kitchen/living room.

It took all my strength not to stare at her ..eh, dress wear that morning.

This must of been one of those super liberal families where walking around your home in nothing but your underwear was normal.

Oh look my lower half is awake.

Thank the Lord for the apron I was wearing, or I'd be having a really messed up conversation as to why I'm popping a boner at the breakfast table.

Guess my mind can simulate the pubesant horse-shit that is puberty.

Once again my dream mom dug into the food with the gusto of a starved slave and asked for several refills. Only to be disappointed at her 3rd serving when I told her it was all gone.

I almost felt like I was the parent here, only instead of a child I was looking after a big red headed barbie doll.

By the end of breakfast she THANKFULLY got dressed for work. When I asked what her job was I got confused head tilt from her.

"oh Takashi-kun how could you forget your mama is the world's greatest cocktail waitress! " she said with obviously false brovado. She was good at hiding it but I definitely know what it was like having a job you hated and from the tired look her eyes suddenly got I could tell her job was definitely emotionally draining.

Well as long as she's just serving drinks instead of being the one on the stripper poles I wasn't gonna judge, people have gotta put bread on the table some how.

before she left I had to stand there at the door with her pelting me with overly affectionate motherly kisses that would of embarrassed any child in real life.

The rest of the was mostly me just pigging out on the junk food in the cupboard and watching the utter nonsense that was this dreams world's TV.

Where the hell was South Park on this damn thing!,and all I've seen in movies is nothing but the same things!.

Ninjas

Princesses

Ninja Princesses

Ninja with creepy puppets

Documentary's about ninja's, which was complete nonsense by the way, I sat through the entire thing and It was cool at first but then it just seemed like the creator of the whole thing just tripped on some acid and gave everyone x-man powers on steroids.

I mean seriously, so you're telling me that " ninja jesus" gave everyone the power of catrah or whatever and then him and his twin brother (who later on ruled over the moon!) teamed up to beat up their mom who ate some forbidden fruit that made her borderline freeza and then by some poor explained fuckery was slip apart into 9 giant monsters with incredible power.

An just 20 year's ago another super x-man level battle happened where zombies and plant people fought gainst Ninja's because a long dead guy who some how came back to life but.. Wasn't a zombie? And turned into ninja Jesus 2.0 but then somehow turned into the woman who got her ass kicked thousands of years ago but came back because... Magic?.. and then the world was saved by the power of friendship...

Drugs... The creator of this documentary was on drugs, no fucking dough about it.

If I had any sliver of a doubt I was dreaming before it was gone now.

One thing that did catch my eye was that ninja puppetry stuff, not the actual puppets themselves cause they creeped the fuck out to be honest and I've watched child's play far too many times to be in a room alone with a doll for longer than I had to.

What I actually liked was the stuff the people controlling the puppets were using as a means to control them,the catrah string stuff. It seriously reminds me of spiderman's webs and since I've already decided I'd play as him in this dream(cause superman was apparently out) it would just help build the look if I figured out how to do that on my own.

I realized that this dream had rules, rules that don't really make any sense but it seems that my brain but a cap on just how much I can hack this dream with my mind if not I would of been flying instead of just super jumping like I did yesterday.

The next rule I realized was that this dream seemed to be leaving me clues on what to do to entertain myself while it cooked up new things for my to explore, example being this ridiculous documentary that just happened to be running when I started being bored.

The final rule that I realized was that I couldn't just pull things out of my ass, I've gotta see it happening in this dream before I could wrap my mind around doing it or at the very least understand what I'm trying to recreate to some extent an base it on the logic of this dream world.

Thats the strawmam logic I used to explain my super jumping and moderatly enhanced strength, I already saw people do it on the train ride home. Sure they were all wearing weird green uniforms but the theory still holds.

So thinking this I'm guessing my dream is taking more of a RPG type of aproutch like dragon quest, I'm clearly the main character of course and this fucked up "ninja world" was my gaming theme,so by that logic I'm most likely in the gaming class of ninja or assassin .

Now that I think of it, it suddenly makes way more sense why the crazy blond munchkin was carrying carrying a knife(i still had it on the couch) and that pink haired lady that caused that mini earth quake must of been some sort of sub-class berserker.

Or she-hulk, the jury was still out on she-hulk.

That's as far as my theories go, I'm just gonna go with the flow of things and play along, besides Spiderman was basically a ninja anyway so it's practically the same thing.

Raising my left hand I tried forcing on the tip of my index finger an sure enough it lit up in a glowing blue spark of energy.

I was curious about this catrah stuff the TV was going on and on about and tried testing it out seeing as it was apparently in everything from people to frogs.

At first I tried pulling it out by tensing up my muscles and screaming like goku power up. But all that did was make me race to the toilet.

I then took a much simpler aproutch like in yuyuhashu and focus on my index finger and try channeling anything I feel to the tip of my finger.

The result was a fist sized hole in the plaster wall.

I shit you not I fired a honest to goodness spirit gun blast of energy (catrah?) out of my smocking finger.

I immediately tried doing it again but was dissapointed to find that it didn't work, looks like it was at the once a day use bullshit.

Oh so unfair!.

I could still feel more of that energy inside me but it felt slightly smaller than before. I tried focusing it in my finger again but instead of trying to fire it off like a gun I tried imagining a string coming out of my finger.

The result was a string sized hole going through the plaster wall connection to a threat coming from my finger.

Oh you just know I would be destroying this plaster wall after I'm done testing this.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was well into the early noon I had succeeded in putting many holes in the wall than any automatic rifle could and was still experimenting on what I could to with my "webs",for one these things were strong!.

I've already tried them out on the concrete in the interior of the wall all it was chipping away chunks on contact and could stick to the surface of whatever it was touching if I just gave it a little thought.

By that I mean that it I shoot my webs without thinking about then sticking on first all it did was whip the be-jesus out of whatever it hit.

Iike a sadistic whip.

I was still I little lost on how to do the whole wall crawling thing but I'm sure I'd figure it sooner or later. As for now I was working on getting the legendary spider senses.

By juggling knives blind folded.

I figured that I'd either feel a tingle and more... or get horribly mutilated.

worth a shot.

Just as I was about to throw the knives in the air above me I heard a knock at the door.

"oh who could that be? " I wandered walking over to the door, I swear if it's repressed memories of my senile grandmother telling me not to play with knives I'm gonna slam the door in her face.

But to my surprise it wasn't my long departed gran gran at the door but some nervous looking kid that looked uncomfortable just being there. Like me he looked like he too came from a poor family as he was only wear a faded white wife beater and some old brown shorts.

Aside from the slightly cracked reading glasses this kid could fit in with a street rat.

"g-good morning ta-kashi-san" he mumbled out,he clearly wasn't the assertive type as he kept looking to his feet while talking to me. "i-i finished it" he said holding out slightly crumbled sheets of paper in his rough looking hands. "I just h-ave the usual p-lease" he mumbled finally having the guts to look up at me with pleading greed eyes almost hidden in his un-kept black hair.

Move over starving African kids someone else was pulling at my heart strings.

He flinched slightly when I put a comforting hand on his shoulder at looked at him consered," hey kid what's the matter, what is this and what do you mean by you finished it? "

If anything my words just made the boy with no shoe shack more "c-come on takashi-san w-we had a deal remember, I do this for you - he said indicating to the pile of crumpled up papers in his arm-and you'd... You promised a full meal" the boy revealed looking desperate.

Now that he mentioned food I now noticed how skinny this twig of a child looked, who was looking after him?,when was the last time he's eaten?.

I didn't even bother trying to ask anymore questions and immediately invited the little charity case inside and without a word used what ever was left in the apartment to fill the poor thing up.

If there was one thing being in Iraq had made me hate more than anything it was starving children, sometimes it was hard to eat during duty while some village kid and his impoverished family thinned down into nothing day after day in front of me.

Seeing this kid cry into his meal stuffing himself with as much as he could pulled out alot of those bad memories. Poor munchkin didn't even look like he was older than my current bodies age and was scarfing down cartons of ramen like it was God sent.

Was my dream trying to make me feel like a asshole for ever complaining about my life?, cause if it was it was doing a damn good job!.

After a couple more cups of instant food the boy stopped crying an look more than just great full as he practically bowed in gratitude to me while wiping his still runny nose and adjusting his cracked glasses.

Seeing as he was much calmer than before I tried to make sense of what was going on and what did he mean by finished?.

At my words a spark of worry sprouted on the boys face as he scrambled for the pile of papers on the table and presented them to me with all the nervousness of a highschool senior presenting a paper that would count as 40% of their final score.

"it's all here, everything you asked for but I couldn't sneak passed the guards for the restricted stuff so I kinda i-improvised a little, But this will work just fine I swear! " he said shouting slightly at the end looking like his whole word depended on pleasing me.

The hell is he talking about?!

I put both hands of him shoulders an shook him slightly "the heck are you talking about? "

His response was to hold up one of the paper's.

It was filled with black symbols and numbers .

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

So after a short explanation that I'm sure confused the both of us the boy told me that his name was Yoton and that he was more or less under my employment for scraps since he was a homeless street rat who had no living relatives to be found.

He was just wasting away in an alley a few weeks ago but "takashi" apparently found him and promised to provide him food if he became his shadow of sorts.

Seems the boy had been used as mainly a information gatherer as despite not having any train in the field the boy was surprisingly stealthy and resourceful especially at the promise of food.

He had told him that his last task was to look up something called Seals for last few days and his reward would be a full meal that was actually warm this time.

Man this back story was making him sound like an asshole!. This dream version of myself was definitely not a protagonist.

In the end Yoton revealed he was able to get his hands on some weird stuff like a seal that that he said could store items far bigger than the paper itself into it like weapons or clothes -

...so like hammer space?.

-Along with food and medicine ect...

...definitely hammer space.

We tested it out by placing the knife I took of the crazy blonde an placed it over one of the paper's on the breakfast table only for me to dead pan as nothing happened .

Yoton was quick to defend himself in insisting that he read all the scrolls in the library right an that it should definitely be working.

Poor guy looked like he was having a panic attack.

"hey calm down " I said holding on his shaking shoulders, "I'm not upset so don't worrying okay , If you said you did whatever this is right then I'm gonna believe you, we're probably just forgetting something" I tried in my best soothing voice actually getting him to both calm and stare at me bewildered in shock like the very notion of me being this understanding and patient was beyond alien.

I really gotta carry a camera when people do this, it was happening too often.

Swollening a nervous lump in his throat Yoton nodded in agreement an stared looking over his own notes a moment only to face palm on himself.

Turns out these paper thingys needed some catrah to work ,just a little was needed for something as tiny as one kunai apparently an so he asked me try it out by just placing a little in the paper.

I pointed my now glowing finger at the paper and fired off my web shot.

Only for both of us to fall to the kitchen floor as both the knife and the table we were using seemed to suddenly evaporate in a puff of smoke.

Groaning we pulled ourselves up to our feet an stared shocked at the piece of paper resting on the floor.

I pride myself on aways knowing what the responsibile thing to do no matter how odd the situation.

"let's do that shit again!"

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **AN:**

 **So what do you all think?.**

 **It was a friend of mines idea but he asked my help in creating it hoping to make a unique story and as u can see several things about this fic are different than what normally happens in a oc centered fix.**

 **Let's list a few from just this chapter.**

 **1, non Mary sue male character**

 **2,no bloodlines or close friendships with canon main characters.**

 **3,no goody two shoes main character with the power of friendship bullshit.**

 **4,no knowledge of the world around him or even it's basic culture due to having not clue of the manga's existence.**

 **5,special abilities?. His blind ignorance of everything around him and strong conviction that this is all a long trip dream.**

 **6,my personal favorite. The 90's reference's.**

 **this oc wasn't some angst filled super pussy from our current PC times But an older generation y slacker who was transported during his term in the early days of the Iraq War.**

 **I fucking dare you to say this is a copy something else.**

 **Well if my friend wants to continue this wild idea I'll be uploading it here,.**

 **Oh and I get I get it.**

 **Where's the next "currpting the innocent" chapter.**

 **Look guys, it's not like I'm making cash off or something so I'm not gonna be putting all my time into smut.**

 **Not that I wouldn't have my mind changed by a few dollars.**

 **Eh, hem.. P a treon . Com (slash) Kingunderdog**

 **What!, a guy's gotta eat more than cup soup!.**

 **Lol Well later.**

 **My warm bed is calling my name like a slutty whore.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, just wow, im really glad people like my fic idea that I first created with my good friend Kingunderdog, the co-creator.**

 **I really really really! Want to here everyone's thoughts of this fic and the directions I'm taking it in the reviews.**

 **Not gonna lie, I'm constantly on my phone just to see it I get reviews from you guys, your support and enforcement is the life blood of my drive to write.**

 **As for King underdog himself.**

 **Well he's told me that he is officially don't with exams and will be continuing his most popular fic(not that im jealous) corrupting the innocent.**

 **He said it'll be released by the weekend so sit tight!.**

 **Enjoy the fic!**

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxcccccccxxxxxxxxxx**

Now I'll admit that at times I'm usually too stubborn to say that I can sometimes take things I think are cool or blasphemous to my beliefs.

Like the time final fantasy 8 first got released, a relative bought it for me as a birth day pressent. I constantly refused for months to play it o the grounds that final fantasy 7 was and still IS the best game of the series.

Childish?, I think not.

Hell I still haven't played it and I feel completely justified with that choice.

But maybe not so much with the current one I had found myself in with my 'mother' passed out on the floor in our now VERY empty apartment with a flustered Yuton scrambling for something to fan the fainted woman on the floor with.

All the while im too busy scratching my head as the only thing not glued to the floor left in the apartment.

The little white paper with the gibberish squiggles on it.

When we first started testing it on the furniture Yuton had explained that from everything he had read about seal's while gathering information for me, or at least 'Takashi' or whatever, he had found that based on the level of skill a seal master has with the art of stuffing stuff in other stuff, he or she could handle sealing more complex or multiple items in just one seal.

It definitely sounded like standard video game inventory hammer space to me, get more skill points or something on the ink-squiggles and paper thingy and you get more space in your inventory.

Simple easy peasy, obviously my brain was definitely trying to push this dream in a more gaming setting.

I mean seriously what are the odds of some kid just so happen to suddenly show up right as I was starting to get bored and then answer all my questions without hesitation?.

Without a doub this was all part of a very detailed tutorial my mind has cooked up for me making Yuton, my 'informant', the guys role in this dream was probably just to be my tag-along or support character helping me in my future 'quests'.

It would be just too convenient otherwise.

The poor homeless orphan back story, the inexplicable stealth abilities and skill in one of the key important skills in a RPG, hammer space.

I'd have to be a special type of dumbass not to see that.

But it seems there is a glitch in my dreams version of hammer space.

Ordinarily in games you could readily retrieve any item you wanted out of your inventory no problem by just clicking a button, but this was a dream.

What fucking do you press in a dream!.

Whats worse is that after our first try worked out so well and gobbled up an entire table I went over board and kept putting random stuff in it just to see what its cap is.

Seems it didn't have one as the little piece of paper devoured everything I throwed at the couch

Yuton did mention that he had to substitute some of the squiggles with half baked theories and estimates of his own.

When I asked him what the cap on its storage capabilities were supposed to be normally he stuttered out that with the little knowledge he had cultivated it should of only been able to hold 2 or 3 kunai (daggers?) at best.

Seems his botched version of the squiggles had some good perks then.

Along with some crippling defects.

Like not being able to get back all the things we stuffed in there for instance.

My mother had just come back from her shift ready to crash in bed for a long nap of her own, so maybe the sight of her striped clean apartment probably overwhelmed her.

Poor woman probably thought we got robbed and considering the rough looking neighborhood we lived in (seriously was this dream Detroit?) It kinda made senses that she'd come to that conclusion.

Which is how we got to the point we are now with me staring at the piece of paper on the ground that held all of our stuff.

I had asked Yuton what to do, as this was clearly something I'm to learn in the dreams tutorial before I can continue on with the rest of the quest's.

Yuton actually turned blue in the face with fear when I asked him that and looked down at his bare feet nervously squeaking out that he kinda sort of..

Didn't know how.

Turns out that in his rush to make 'Takashi's' demands on time, Yuton had to skip out on researching the needed squiggle marks required for these seals to have a release function.

I didn't even begin to try understanding when he explained the very complex technicalities in sealing that he had to skim over just to make this one-way only storage device and just nodded my head like I knew what the hell he was talking about.

So here's the jist of it, if what I half listend to is correct this storage seal thing has gone from an inventory devices to just some sort of never ending bottomless pit.

A wind tunnel. He made a portable fucking wind tunnel!.

Or was a black hole more accurate?.

I wonder what would happen if a person got sucked in there?, definitely wouldn't be pleasant.

In my mussing my mother finally work up only to scream and race into her room and scream even louder. I rolled my eyes at this.

Over dramatic much.

I walked into the room with a timid Yuton behind me only to stare deadpand at the grown woman sulking in the empty bedroom corner mumbling random things to herself. Like, how was she going to afford to get back all her missing stuff and pay rent at the same time.

Feeling a bit of guilt on my part I made my presence known in the room with a cough getting her attention, then I introduced Yuton who hid behind me like a scared child about to be punished as I explained to her in my clearly very well thought out version of what happened.

"Well its like this, you see we were testing out this storage paper thingy, its kinda like a black hole thing only its powered by magic n'stuff, but its kinda like a one way thing so as far as I know our stuff could be trapped in another dimension" I said simply without bating and eye. Sounded like perfect sence to me.

This was a dream so it was all more than possible.

Just wished my mother stopped gapping at me like I wasa frog that suddenly started singing and tap dancing.

Its like she hasn't seen people played around with the law's of physics before.

We were just jumping dozens of feet in the air yesterday lady! , spontaneously disaparing furniture shouldn't be that hard to believe.

She seemed to calm down a bit after a while and asked if there's anyway to get our stuff back, behind me Yuton shook his head stating that he didn't know how,that they would need a expert on sealing to help unseal them.

He gulped went he said that contracting a seals masters service's in this day and age when the art was mostly just done by scientist would be very... Costly.

At this my mother dropped her head down her knees sulking about making ends meet while Yuton just stared at the ground feeling extremely guilty stuttering out apologizes and promises to find work in any way he could to help make payments.

All the while this was going on I just deadpanned at the both of them.

I mean come on guys, if you'd used basic video game logic the answer to the problem here was simple.

I ripped up the paper.

Outside of our apartment building a mild BOOM sound was heard startling some of the people near by who assumed a bomb had just went off.

Inside the apartment I had the pleasure of being sandwhiched between the cold floor and a couch resting on top of me.

At least everyone else were in much better conditions with mom pulling herself up from under her matrass and Yuton safely cowering under the newly released breakfast table.

The rest of the room was covered in everything we stored away in the now ripped up paper.

Aside from the heavy as hell couch body slamming me to the ground my idea worked flawlessly.

Using my enhanced bootleg spiderman strength I shoved the couch off me and stood up stretching my back with a poud crick.

Note to self, getting hit by couches are bad for ones spine.

I groaned a bit as the artificial pain wore off as fast as it did with yesterday's spanking(which may or may not be a fetish now?), I got to work to put back everything in order and calmed down my mother who had gone from depressed to panicked once she saw the many new holes in the wall my 'webs' put in.

She just kept staring at the wall shocked at how just chakra, a life force energy, could wreak the wall so badly.

To demonstrate I pointed at the already ravaged wall and fired another web whip chiping another piece of the concert.

Both Yuton and mom looked at the wall surprised, but mom was defiantly the most shocked as she immediately grabbed both of us and ducked for cover thinking that the wall was crumbling Down.

When it didn't she sighed a breath of relief and rolled off us on the floor looking exhausted from all the sudden stress.

Poor woman was easy to startle I guess.

Hadn't she seen people shoot webs out of their hands before?. It took a short explaination from Yuton to explain to me that chakra was a energy that could not be seen by non-sensory types or untrained eye's.

Basically most normal people.

So basically my webs were near invisible to non player characters and hard to spot against possible foes who aren't trained to notice them.

Hacks, hacks as all hell!.

I mean seriously! , could you just Imagine how useful shit like this would of been in the comics?, fuck web slingers, spiderman should trade up to this chakra stuff!.

I shot a few more test shots on the wall before mom begged me to stop before I gave her a heart attack. Seeing as the woman clearly wasn't use to so much new development in one day I obeyed and stopped wrecking the wall.

I could always do that later.

I grabbed Yuton by the hand and waved goodbye to my still over whelmed mother and I pulled both of us out the door.

Now that the tutorial was over it was time to explore!.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yuton was never one to talk out of place especially to the boy who basically was the hand that feed him, but even he had to admit the usually mean spirited and brooding boy that he had learned to call master was acting extremely out of character this evening.

For instance right now he was walking more than a little concerned as Takashi was looking at everything and everyone around him with a look of wonder and interest with his usually cold and bitter dark eyes.

He had to blink twice when his master rushed off suddenly pulling him along with him to an electronic's store where he stared drooling at the random games and consoles that were on display.

This definitely was out of character, his master came from a poor family and as such couldn't afford such frivolous thing's that did nothing but consume both time and electricity.

On an normal day Yuton would of just expected Takashi to glare the store and move on with hid usual bad mood.

But today his master was well.. Acting like a child... well a different type of child.

A child who's seeing something new and shiny with the knowledge that their parents could afford.

Yuton was just about to say something when a voice to their left made them turn.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here, a couple of rat's come to spread their filth on our clean streets" said a gravely tone that made Yuton pale and Takashi look up with his head cocked to the side.

He was a relatively tall man with a black tattoos running up his left arm on his sleeveless green botten-up vest shirt and black pants that stopped at his black sandled feet. His face was sharp but riddled with a few small scares at the edge of his hard jaw that along with his athletic frame gave him a tough guy look of a mafia wannabe.

His eyes matched his greased back hair with it's hard brown colour as he stared down the two boys smugly, he was clearly enjoying the terrified look Yuton was giving him but frown at the red head of the duo who only glanced at him for a moment but then went back to drooling over the electronic's in the store.

Yeah, no.

"Oy street rat!" The man barked in Takashi's direction finally getting his still unlike his scared stiff friend the red head just stated up at him with his beady black eye's calmly with a brow raised as of confused.

"You're talking to me or him?" The boy asked point him and then the boy now hiding shivering behind him.

A tic mark appeared on the man's head as he glared down at the unfazed boy and his quivering companion."yes YOU!, you little shit!" He shouted," don't you know who I am? , who the hell my associate's are!? " he said pointing at his left arm with a smirk of pride as the black haired boy looked like he was about to faint at the sight of the dragon tattoo on his arm.

"This is the mark of the heavenly dragons yakuza brat, it took me a long time to finally earn my rank as a member and as one of Ryuga-sama's loyal soilders I have right to do as I please in this territory" he explained with pride, obviously he thought of his new position as a made man was something to be proud of.

"You sure do talk alot scare face, but then again how else I'm I to figure out your characters background without exposition, but seriously a gang grunt?, that's the best my brain could come up with for my first enemy encounter? " the red head mumbled to himself completly ignoring the man glaring at them threateningly.

"seriously?, I mean I know this whole set up is probably coming from my dads gene's cause he's half Sicilian and I love the god father movies", the boy said not even looking threatened by the clear danger he was in.

"but I know I can do better, this is my brain for god sakes, couldn't my mind have created a starting point more original than this?", shacking his head again Takashi seperated from the cowering Yuton behind him and started some light stretching.

A habit forced onto him from his army training, before doing anything too physically straining ALWAYS limber up first.

He had learned that lesson the hard way several times in basic training where he was forced to run laps around camp with leg cramps stiffening his legs.

Never again.

"Okay im ready scare face, let's go" the red head said to now pissed man who had already lost his patients and struck his fist out to punch him and connected square on the boys jaw.

Yuton looked in fear, the thug in rage, but 'Takashi', well he was thing something different.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A unfocused right hook?.

Like, really?

I've taken better punches in the face everyday by the female combat instructors in basic training.

The thug took another swing which was easily dodged by the boy who just passively tilted to the side and stepped back when the gangs member tried for a poorly executed sweep kick.

Seriously was this guy even trying?, I mean I get it, my current body was alot swifter and denser than my old bigger and slower one but come on man your fight a munchkin!.

I know he's a no named grunt and all but if everyone I fight is this incompetent in basic hand to hand im gonna get bored real fast.

While thinking all this I lost focus and let the man get passed my guard where the rushed in with a actually half-decent knee to my stomach making me gasp for moment only to once again instantly recover from the pain then rotate my body to turn around on the ball of my foot to deliver a chuck Norris style round house kick to the man's chest sending him flying through the glass window of the electronic's store I was gawking at.

I wenched when I saw him smash into the glass.

I hope I didn't hurt any of the games in there too badly.

Seems this grunt wasn't a one hit K. O. after all as he suddendly jumped out of the store bloody with glass shards all over his back screaming in rage while brandishing a knife that he didn't hesitate to sloppily slice at me with.

He didn't even manage to get in a full arc in his swipe before I lifted my arm up grabbing his hand by the wrist, leaned backwards while using my right leg to kick the feet under the man to make him loose balance and use the mans own momentum to flip him over my shoulder.

A common maneuver used by the shorter members of his unit during spares against larger opponents.

Lord knows i'd been flipped over dozens of times myself and knew personally just how unpleasant it was to be slammed head first into the ground.

The grunt sure had spirit I'll give him that.

Bleeding and probably a mildly concussed the man still managed to get to his wabbly feet grinding his now chipped teeth in share hatred as he stared up at me like I was the bane of his existence.

All the while I'm just scratching my ear for any dirt that might be stuck in there.

What?, having dirt in my ears bothers me!.

My eyes actually widened for a moment when the man did something I didnt expect.

With a burst of speed going beyond what a man who went through a window should have he sprinted over to the side of the street where Yuton stood and quickly grabbed him kicking and screaming holding him in front of his own body in a classic hostage position.

He smirked at me when I made to rush over to them only stop dead in my tracks when he held up the knife to the green eyed boy's neck.

Well, shit.

"Ha ha ha!, not so cocky now huh you little street rat!" The man shouted moving the blade a bit deeper on Yuton's neck stopping the boys struggling as he just whimpered with tears brimming behind his cracked glasses.

I tried taking another step but at the sound of the boys sudden screams as the blade actually pierced his skin slightly and drew a very small trickle of blood my feet were once again rooted in place.

"Not another fuck'in move street rat!, now heres how this is gonna go, your gonna listen reeeal closely if you want you're friend's head to stay on his fuck'in shoulders. Now first off I want you to -blah blah blah.."

I didnt even bother paying attention to whatever else he was say, It was clear here what the set up was, if I moved another inch this desperate man with no other options would slit his throat.

But If I don't do something he'll still most likely slit Yutons throat.

In tense situations like this in real life I would most definitely freeze up costing the boy his life, but here in my head where I knew it was all a dream I was surprisingly more level headed about the situation instead of full on panicking.

This dream was based loosely on RPG logic right, so that meant that in every tight situation there was at least one or more ways out of them.

Okay let's look at my options while this jackass keeps talking. I can't out right move from my spot over he'll hurt Yuton.

My webs whip would probably sting the be-Jesus out of him but that would risking him seeing me pull my finger back in a whipping motion to use it at its fulling whipping potential.

Maybe my spirit gun could deal some damage to him from this distance if I aim it right, no that wouldn't work either, even if chakra was hard to see for normal people there's still the off chance he could be one of the people that could notice it, especially with it being roughly the size of a grown mans fist.

Shit, he stopped talking.

Time was running out out. What else was there I could use!? .

"Well you little street rat, what are you waiting for" the man said impatiently at him.

Wait.. Was he expecting me to do something?.

"Are you gonna do it or not?" The man said pressing the knife on Yuton tighter, showing more blood.

"Okay!, okay I'll do it, just calm down with the knife!" At my agreement to do whatever the hell it was he was demand he pulled the knife a half inch away from Yuton's neck.

The man smirked as he saw me raise my hands above my head in complaints thinking that I was completely submissive.

"What the hell is that!?" I shouted suddenly pointing with my finger behind him with a look shock on my face.

" oh come on brat, how stupid do you think I am, that's the oldest trick in the bo-aaAAAHH!" the thug screamed clutching with one arm his back that now had a rather large shared of glass stuck deep in his left shoulder.

If he wasn't to busy screaming bloody murder he might of notice the thin, almost invisible thread connected to the glass shard traveling all the way back to my still pointing finger.

Oldest trick my ass!. I never expected you to turn around you dumb ass.

Classic back to the future fakeout.

All the while this was happening my left hands index finger was spirking up in a familiar blue glow.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

On the other side of the street the man screamed as he used his one free arm to pull in vain at the shared stuck in his back, just shifting his shoulders to move his arms burned and it seemed that with absence of the knife Yuton had worked up the courage to start struggling again, even going as far as to bite down on the arm restraining him.

This did not go over well,"you little shit!" The man raged slammed his abused arm on top the boy knocking him three feet away from him on the ground.

" oh that's it!, im gonna fuck'in kill both you rats!" The thug raged with his knife raised in the air above Yuton ready to stab him in the chest.

That is would of, if he wasn't blasted away into a concrete wall by a fist sized ball of chakra that hit his chest with the force of a sledge hammer.

Yuton could only stare shell shocked from his position on the ground as the unconscious man slid off the wall and slumped to the ground.

Turning around at the sound of foot steps Yuton green eyes landed on the out stretched in front of him.

"You okay there bud, he didn't hurt yeah too bad did he?" Takashi, his master in all but leash and color asked him with genuine concern tone in his his usually rought voice.

Moving his hand numbly he let Takashi pull him up to his feet and was flustered when the red head started patting the dust off his ratty clothes.

"There, all good as new, well as good as a old shirt and a raggy pants get anyway, we really gotta upgrade your gear buddy" Takashi said mostly to himself in mumbles.

Yuton just plain didn't know what to say or to think. his master had never looked him over with such care before, and honestly he wasn't sure if he liked it.

Living so long on the streets made Yuton have many many fears, one of which was to never trust anything new that seemed for too good to be true, which was why it was so easy... Manageable, to work under Takashi Towaka for the past month now.

He knew the boy's type, very well.

Bitter, short tempered , always walking around with a chip on his shoulder's like the world owed him something, has a mother that loves him but wants nothing to do with her and constantly skeeming.

In short, both figuratively and literally a real bastard. Who was probably just gonna end up another dead body found in a back alley somewhere in this kami forsaken part of the city.

He had already set his sites on other people he could possibly sell himself to when the red head he was currently following finally turned up dead one day.

He didn't think of himself as a prostitute or an item, but if it kept himself feed... Yuton would have a more open mind on the type of scum he'd give himself over to.

But all of a sudden his views on the human meal ticket he thought of as master were changing rapidly, his eyes no longer held their constant coldness as he opened his doors to him that evening and feed him to the fullest he had been in months and treated him gently when the results he wanted for seals project flopped and all his version did was defect.

He even saved his life!.

That man, that HEAVENLY DRAGON member would of killed him just now if his master hadn't used his skills to subdue the man risking his life.

An,Yuton nearly teared up when he realized.

He didn't need to.

The thug had given Takashi two options when he held up, either be a hero and try and stop him or go get him all the money he could from the the store they were in front of.

Apparently the yakuza grunt had come to collect protection money, the owner had been avoiding payments for months and he had come to 'rough him up' and get him to pay what he owed the Heavenly Dragons.

Then he got all banged up from fighting Takashi so he grapped Yuton to threaten his master to do the shack down for him under the promise that he'd maybe spare Yuton's life once he got the money.

Takashi could of easily of just left him to die or given into his temper after being called a street rat(a trigger word to many who lived in the slums) then disregard Yuton's life in order to finish the man off faster.

But instead of throwing him to the wolfs or commiting a crime Takashi faught for him, even going as far as using the opposite of his usual wild brawling style of fighting and used his head to figure out a way to both beat the man and keep both of them relatively unharmed.

He put Yuton's life above his own pride and comprised his nindo.

(Always look out for number one first, second and last.)

He cared about him...

Yuton was so moved by all this that he couldnt help the new tears welling up from the mix of emotions flooding his mind.

"Hey hey hey, what's with the water works Yuton?. its find, were fine and your cut's nothing serious, it looks like he just barely broke passed the skin of your neck," Takashi said soothing the boy while bending down a bit look at the small cut on his neck," see, its not even bleeding anymore, hey tell you what,its getting dark so let's go get something warm to eat then head home okay, will let the police or whatever handle that mafia thug guy"

Yuton could do nothing more than nod his head and sniffle back a sob, it was so hard to him to believe this was all real, his eleven years of life had told him that happy moments like this just didn't happen and yet here he was being pulled into a short hug by the same boy only a day before refused to feed him scraps on the grounds that his gathering of information was taking too long.

Pulling apart Yuton was greeted with another new surprise.

Then the red head was smiling.

Yesterday, Yuton wouldn't help but think it was extremely creepy to see a positive emotion on the red heads face, the closes he had every seem his master smiling was the day they first met and he pledged his worthless body and mind to him in exchange for any of the food he could spare.

Back then Yuton knew he would see nothing but grief under the red head's control but he obeyed out of desperation.

And Takashi knew this from that very moment which why on that day Yuton could of sworn the older boy's smirk was on the same level as a demon when he signed his life away to him.

But now his smile didn't look likea twisted smirk fitting only a paragon of human sin, but it actually made him feel...

Warm?, safe?.

He wasn't sure how, aside from hin not being use to, that's for certain.

He did know one thing as he was being guided by the hand by the cheerfully smiling red head who looked at everything around him in wonder.

Whatever it was that had taken hold of his master...

He clasped his hand around the boy's as he pulled them along.

He didn't want it to stop.

XXXXXXXXXXXX.

"What do you mean your don't have any money!?" Shouted a balding old man in his late sixties at the two boy's in his diner who just showed an hour ago.

They had looked like a couple of hoodlums to him, or at least the red haired one did but old Chuo had a soft spot for children gaving them the benefit of the doubt and served them their meals of fries and burgers.

a popular combo amongst the young now a days.

But when time finally came to pay the Bill, here these two little brats are telling him their flat broke, hell at least the dark haired kid was honest about it, the red headed one was just babbling on some nonsense about thinking he should of gain some 'loat' from his first fight.

Then he turned to the blacked boy next to him and asked him if he saw any bags of money on the ground before they got here to which the other boy just shook his head looking almost as confused as old man Chou.

Was the red haired brat high?.

Well then, either way it looks like we have a couple of dine then dashers in his restaurant.

Not flipping today!, they were gonna pay him back in either money or sweat!.

So he grabbed both the little brats and forced them into his kitchen to work off their debt by washing dishes until he felt he was fully paid back for their meals.

The red headed one complained at first but shut up like his quiet companion when he threatened to call the authorities on them.

He wouldnt actually call the ninja's on them, kami , those chakra loons were so bored in the past two decades of peace that they'd probably interrogate these brats with old school torture methods just to having something to do outside of D-Rank missions all the time.

but they didn't know that so he kept on harping the threat anytime they complained.

Soon, even with a little gripes here and there from the brats the dishes where cleaned spotless and Chou's only worry now was to keep up with the dinner rush as one after another new customers came in to his diner hungry for his food.

But then all of a sudden his only chef ran out on him shouting some crap about his wife having a baby and leaving the cooking to his own.. Eh hem, rusty skills.

The grill had caught on fire by the time he realized he lost his touch with cooking.

The food was burning to a crisp and the annoyed customers out front were just piling up, if this went on his dinners reputable would be ruined!.

"Hey pop's, it sure does look like you could use a hand" said the red haired brat behind him.

"Quiet boy i'm tryin'ta concentrate here!", Chou shouted while outing the grill fire with a bucket of water.

Yeah, water and a hot oil don't mix too well.

Chou had to bit down his teeth to stop himself from screaming when the hot oil exploded covering part of his arm in burning oil. The fire was out but he was clearly injured.

"Crap", Chou hissed in pain flexing his burnt arm, it would heal but it was in no condition to attempt cooking with, his restaurant wouldn't survive without someone making the food.

What he didn't expect to see was the red haired kid walk up to the grill in a white cooking Apron and hair net on as he looked at the order notes scattered on the table next to him and nodded his head while tightening the straps of his Apron.

"Brat?, what do you think your doing?" Chou questioned, even in pain he wasn't just gonna let some dine and dasher do as he pleased in his kitchen.

"What does it look like pop's?," the boy said while with the skill and speed Chou had only seen in 5 star establishments as the boy cut through ingredients and prepared all the stoves.

When he started using recipe's and techniques Chou had never seen before without even braking a sweat under the intense heat of using all the stoves at once, Chou had to seriously wonder who the hell was this boy who walked into his dinner.

"I'm working off my debt" the boy said with a small smile that warped into a confondant smirk as he turned back to the stoves.

"now I hope you NPC's ready cause dinner's about to be surved!"

It was at this moment that marked the day that Irish and Italian style cooking was introduced to the elemental nation's.

And my god was it glorious.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

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